function makeArray(len) { for (var i = 0; i < len; i++) this[i] = null; this.length = len; } // you add as many quotes as you want here just make sure to change the makeArray(number) ideas = new makeArray(77); ideas[0] = "Mom and dad can make the rules
And certain things forbid
But I can make them wish that they
Had never had a kid.
BILL WATTERSON" ideas[1] = "Once you can accept the universe as being something expanding into an infinite Nothing which is something, wearing stripes with plaid is easy.
Albert Einstein" ideas[2] = "From a human point of view, the difference between the mind of a human being and that of a mountain goat is wonderful; from the point of view of the infinite ignorance that surrounds us, the difference is not impressive.
WELDELL BARRY" ideas[3] = "PRIORITIES:
1. What the Commander wants
2. What the 1st Sergeant wants
3. What anybody else wants
4. What has to get done
. . .
998. Things I should have done long ago
999. My job
PETE OKONSKI" ideas[4] = "Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX" ideas[5] = "Man: An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be. His chief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.
AMBROSE BIERCE" ideas[6] = "How many boards
Would the Mongols hoard
If the Mongol hordes
Got bored?
BILL WATTERSON" ideas[7] = "From Rumor’s tongues they bring smooth comforts false, worse than true wrongs.
SHAKESPEARE " ideas[8] = "Do not be too moral. You may cheat yourself out of much life. Aim above morality. Be not simply good; be good for something.
THOREAU " ideas[9] = "I ain’t a Communist necessarily, but I been in the red all my life.
WOODY GUTHRIE " ideas[10] = "If a parent is remembered by his children only for what he did, then he spent too much time at work.
ROGER EBERT" ideas[11] = "I forget who it was that recommended men for their soul’s good to do each day two things they disliked: It was a wise man, and it is a precept that I have followed scrupulously; for ever day I have got up and I have gone to bed.
SOMMERSET MAUGHM" ideas[12] = "Remember that it is nothing to do your duty; that is demanded of you and is no more meritorious than to wash your hands when they are dirty.
SOMMERSET MAUGHM" ideas[13] = "My office contains many large unexplored toenail deposits that have built up over the years because I’m a professional writer, which means that I spend as many as five hours a day engaged in foot maintenance while waiting for professional sentences to appear in my brain.
DAVE BARRY" ideas[14] = "Only those are fit to live who do not fear to die; and none are fit to die who have shrunk from the joy of life and the duty of life. Both life and death are part of the same Great Adventure.
THEODORE ROOSEVELT" ideas[15] = "Finish each day and be done with it
You have done what you could
Some absurdities and blunders no doubt crept in
Forget them as soon as you can
Tomorrow is a new day
You shall begin it well and serenely
EMERSON" ideas[16] = "Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence.
Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.
Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.
Education will not; the world is full of educated derilects.
Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.
CALVIN COOLIDGE" ideas[17] = "Actually, there’s a very good reason for rationalization.
JOHN BARNES" ideas[18] = "If something is preposterous, but in the past tense, is it postposterous?
MIKE ALLEN" ideas[19] = "There is no frigate like a book
To take us lands away,
Nor any coursers like a page
Of prancing poetry.
EMILY DICKENSON" ideas[20] = "Murphy’s Law: Anything that can go wrong, will.
Hutchison’s Law: If a situation requires your undivided attention, it will occur simultaneously with a compelling distraction.
Harrison’s Postulate: For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
Whistler’s Law: You never know who’s right, but you always know who’s in charge.
Wellington’s Law of Command: The cream rises to the top. So does the scum.
Hanlon’s Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can adequately be explained by stupidity.
Cole’s Law: Finely chopped cabbage." ideas[21] = "The problem with capitalism is all the capitalists. They’re too damn greedy.
HERBERT HOOVER" ideas[22] = "Jealousy is the puke of love.
PETE OKONSKI" ideas[23] = "Some people think about what’s wrong in the world and ask, Why? Some people think about what the world could be like and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don’t have time to think about shit like that.
GEORGE CARLIN" ideas[24] = "Get a big dog. And have that dog sleep in your bed with you. Dogs know nothing of mortality, and they share that peace with you.
BEN STEIN" ideas[25] = "The tumult of time disconsolate to inarticulate murmurs dies away while the eternal ages watch and wait.
LONGFELLOW" ideas[26] = "What stronger breastplate than a heart untainted?
Thrice is he armed that hath his quarrel just
And he but naked, though locked up in steel,
Whose conscience with injustice is corrupted.
SHAKESPEARE" ideas[27] = "One thing that I loved in Paraguay was the ironic grass that showed the tip of its nose between the pavements of the capital, that slipped in on behalf of the invisible but ever-present virgin forest to see if man still held the town, if the hour had not come to send all the stones tumbling.
ANTOINE de SAINT-EXUPERY" ideas[28] = "To what base uses we may return, Horatio! Why may not imagination trace the noble dust of Alexander, till he find it stopping a bung-hole?
SHAKESPEARE" ideas[29] = "Whereever there is trust in a union, the risk of betrayal becomes a real possibility. And betrayal, as a continual possibility to be lived with, belongs to trust just as doubt belongs to a living faith.
JAMES HILLMAN" ideas[30] = "Discipline is the channel in which our acts run strong and deep; where there is no direction, the deeds of men run shallow and wander and are wasted.
URSULA LE GUIN" ideas[31] = "Most people have a furious itch to talk about themselves and are restrained only by the disinclination of others to listen.
SOMMERSET MAUGHAM" ideas[32] = "What bothers me is how many loudmouths there are walking around, not caring who they are offending when they use certain words. And the reason they can get away with it is that we have freedom of speech in this country. Which is as it should be. But you know, someone fought to preserve that freedom for them. And it’s like they never stop to think that some of the older people they are offending are the people who fought as hard as human beings can fight to save those rights for future generations.
PAUL TIBBETS" ideas[33] = "With infinite complacency men went to and fro over this little globe about their affairs, dreaming themselves the highest creatures in the whole vast universe, and serene in their assurance of their empire over matter. It is just possible that the infusoria under the microscope do the same.
H.G. WELLS " ideas[34] = "Imagination is the real and eternal world of which this vegetable world is but a faint shadow.
WM. BLAKE" ideas[35] = "Let us sing and let us dance, two amusements that will never do any harm to the world.
VOLTAIRE" ideas[36] = "When people listened to Duke Ellington’s music, they forgot they were white. They became human beings listening to great music. It gave them a moment in which to transcend themselves.
STRETCH JOHNSON" ideas[37] = "I was a late bloomer, but anyone who blooms at all, ever, is very lucky. Many lives don’t allow that, the good fortune of being able to work at it and try, and keep trying.
SHARON OLDS" ideas[38] = "You can have power over people as long as you don’t take everything away from them, but when you’ve robbed a man of everything he’s no longer in your power.
SOLZHINITZIN" ideas[39] = "Nobody in the world ever gets what they want, and that is beautiful.
Everybody dies frustrated and sad and that is beautiful.
THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS" ideas[40] = "He kissed her. There was such an incredible logic to kissing, such a metal-to-magnet pull between two people that it was a wonder that they found the strength to prevent themselves from succumbing every second. Rightfully, the world should be a whirlpool of kissing into which we sank and never found the strength to rise up again.
ANN PATCHETT" ideas[41] = "Man thrives where angels would die of ecstacy and where pigs would die of disgust.
KENNETH REXROTH" ideas[42] = "If you done it, you ain’t braggin!
DIZZY DEAN" ideas[43] = "What have you done lately, besides what’s expected of you?
GORDON BAXTER" ideas[44] = "I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up.
MARK TWAIN" ideas[45] = "War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
AMBROSE BIERCE" ideas[46] = "I care not much for a man’s religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
ABE LINCOLN" ideas[47] = "I can walk like an ape, talk like an ape,
I can do what monkeys do.
God made man, but the monkeys applied the glue.
DEVO" ideas[48] = "All things are connected, like the blood which unites one family.
It is all like one family, I tell you.
SEATTLE" ideas[49] = "There’s a funny thing about comics ... you’ve got to simplify your drawings because you’re working with sharp black and white (and) most panels are very small ... you have to simplify gesture to make it communicate quickly because it’s a kind of picture writing, and ... you can’t fit much text into a panel and therefore to do something really potent you have to suggest much, much more than you can actually state. In that sense, maybe comics have more in common with poetry than prose.
ART SPIEGELMAN" ideas[50] = "Did a large procession wave their torches as my head fell in the basket
and was everybody dancing on the casket?
Now it’s over, I’m dead and I haven’t done anything I wanted
-or-
I’m still alive, and there’s nothing I want to do
THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS" ideas[51] = "Maybe there is no devil. Maybe it’s just god when he’s drunk.
TOM WAITS" ideas[52] = "The price of apathy is to be ruled by evil men.
PLATO" ideas[53] = "You can only be young once, but you can always be immature.
DAVE BARRY" ideas[54] = "A book must be the ax for the frozen sea within us.
FRANZ KAFKA" ideas[55] = "Life is a gamble, at terrible odds. If it was a bet, you wouldn’t take it.
TOM STOPPARD" ideas[56] = "Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.
NATHANIEL HAWTHORNE" ideas[57] = "When I get a little money, I buy books, and if any is left, I buy food and clothes.
ERASMUS" ideas[58] = "As good almost kill a good man as kill a good book: who kills a man kills a reasonable creature, but he who destroys a good book kills reason itself.
MILTON " ideas[59] = "Some enchanted evening, someone may be laughing,
you may hear her laughing across a crowded room,
and night after night, as strange as it seems,
the sound of her laughter will sing in your dreams ...
SOUTH PACIFIC" ideas[60] = "Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
PHYLLIS DILLER " ideas[61] = "I’m fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
GEORGE MCGOVERN" ideas[62] = "There’s no such thing as life without bloodshed. I think the notion that the species can be improved in some way, that everyone could live in harmony, is a really dangerous idea. Those who are afflicted with this notion are the first ones to give up their souls, their freedom. Your desire that it be that way will enslave you and make your life vacuous.
CORMAC MCCARTHY" ideas[63] = "We no longer have men in public life of the stature of our Founding Fathers. The impact of immediacy created by TV has placed a premium not on reflection and reason, but on the glib answer and the bland statement. The politician is concerned with public relations, not with public principles. In the founding of the nation we needed charismatic figures, but today we could do with honest ones. In Harding’s time, they stole national assets; at Watergate, they tried to steal the country.
RICHARD MORRIS" ideas[64] = "There have been great societies that did not use the wheel, but there have been no societies that did not tell stories.
URSULA LE GUIN " ideas[65] = "America demonstrates invincibly one thing that I had doubted up to now: that the middle classes can govern a State. ... Despite their small passions, their incomplete education, their vulgar habits, they can obviously provide a practical sort of intelligence and that turns out to be enough.
ALEXIS DE TOCQUEVILLE" ideas[66] = "How shall the soul of a man be larger than the life he has lived?
EDGAR LEE MASTERS" ideas[67] = "Language fits over experience like a straight jacket.
WILLIAM GOLDING" ideas[68] = "Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
DOUGLAS ADAMS" ideas[69] = "If (a) lack of motivation is a constant problem, perhaps writing is not your forte. I mean, what is the problem? If writing bores you, that is pretty fatal. If that is not the case, but you find that it is hard going and it just doesn’t flow, well, what did you expect? It is work; art is work.
URSULA K LE GUIN " ideas[70] = "Democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There was never a democracy that did not commit suicide.
JOHN ADAMS " ideas[71] = "We don’t have to save the world. The world is big enough to look after itself. What we have to be concerned about is whether or not the world we live in will be capable of sustaining us in it.
DOUGLAS ADAMS" ideas[72] = "It is an important and popular fact that things are not always what they seem. For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much -- the wheel, New York, wars and so on -- whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man -- for precisely the same reasons.
DOUGLAS ADAMS " ideas[73] = "America wasn't created so that we could all be better. America was created so that we could be anything we damned well please.
P.J. O'ROURKE" ideas[74] = "The government of the United States is in no sense founded on the Christian religion.
GEORGE WASHINGTON
I do not find in Christianity one redeeming feature.
THOMAS JEFFERSON
A just government has no need for the clergy or the church.
JAMES MADISON" ideas[75] = "Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.
MICHAEL POLLAN" ideas[76] = "Materialistic democracy beckons every man to make himself a king; republican citizenship incites every man to be a knight. WILLIAM F. BUCKLEY JR.
" // The random number generator. function rand(n) { seed = (0x015a4e35 * seed) % 0x7fffffff; return (seed >> 16) % n; } var now = new Date() var seed = now.getTime() % 0xffffffff