Kabuki time again!
This time, a much smaller number of us performed at the Towada Spring Festival, and somehow I was cast as the biggest, fightenest man the samurai ever knew. I was such a kick-butt hero that I didn't even use a sword this time — just batted the bad guys out of my way with a swat of my hand, or sent them spinning off the stage with a flick of my wrist. I know this all seems pretty fantastic, but then again, they were menacing me with umbrellas.
The curtain rose to reveal the bad guys hiding behind their weapon of choice, paper-and-bamboo umbrellas. They spun them in a very scary way at the audience. Aren't you frightened?
Then, I stepped forward to reveal myself. Seeing what an awesome physical specimen I was, they cowered behind their umbrellas.
Here's the amazing ancient umbrella attack move you've only heard of until now — they don't even show you this kind of thing in chop-socky movies, but I reveal it here for you at my web site for free. Two of the dastardly umbrella-weilding bandits charge me from either side, attempting to overwhelm my defenses. Two on one — does that seem fair?
I easily seized the ends of their umbrellas and they fell to their knees, begging for mercy. Notice the careless toss of my head to show them who's boss.
Then it was time to dance! You've already seen pictures of us doing the kappore, but here's another. Even though we look like we've been hitting the sauce a little early, I can assure you we haven't. I'd be flat on my back if I'd touched even a drop before I attempted anything like this.
Here's the whole dancing, umbrella-swinging gang! The performers, from left to right, are Iwai-san, Fumihiko-san, Yamada-san, and Popeye the Sailor Man.