this is drivel

I don’t know if your city has one of these, but here in Madison we have a radio station, WOLX, that plays Christmas music 24/7. It’s overkill if you ask me, but never mind, I can turn it off and I sure don’t want to be thought of as an enemy soldier in the War On Christmas.

Also, I like Christmas songs, or some of them. I don’t mind being able to turn on the radio to hear a few cheery tunes and get away from news stories about famine and death and mayhem.

What I do mind is Christmas songs about famine and death and mayhem, songs like Feed The World. I guess it’s a nice sentiment and it’s hard to argue against raising money to feed starving children (although not impossible), but it’s a dreadful song. There’s a world outside your window and it’s a world of dread and fear where the only water flowing is the sting of bitter tears. Gosh, thanks for that. I feel all kinds of cheery now.

I don’t want to deny anybody their Christmas music, but here’s my idea: If we’re going to have a 24/7 Christmas music radio show, let’s go all-out and have two. And let’s put the songs filled with happiness and cheer, like Most Wonderful Time Of The Year or Sleigh Ride, one one channel — call it The Happy Christmas Channel — and the awful, depressing, sad songs on another channel — call it The Christmas Channel for People with a Compulsion to Beat Themselves Up.

Now, if I could just come up with a way to rationalize a channel to segregate Christmas songs that are just plain bad. I’m looking at you, Bruce Springsteen.